awwww, Bikey's drunk-ish

i, of course, do not condone drunkenness (as it is a sin), but Bikermommy's just funny right now. she went to the doctor this morning, and they apparently pumped her full of demerol. now. this is a woman who NEVER takes a prescription for pain medication, has never even taken a Vicodin or anything like that. she takes aspirin and Advil, and that's it. here's the message i got from her...

"hey Sarah, it's your mom. i just wanted to let you know i'm at your house because Pat brought me here after the doctor. so call me at your house if you need me."

i don't have a home phone. so i call Bikey's cell, which i assume is what she means by calling her at my house.

BIKEY: hellum.
SARAHK: what are you doing?
BIKEY: what?
SARAHK: what are you doing?
BIKEY: who?
SARAHK: you.
BIKEY: i'm ... um ... i'm sleepinnnnn ... on yer couch.
SARAHK: how are you feeling?
BIKEY: oh. i'm... um... there's nothing wrong with me. they didum find anything.
SARAHK [trying hard not to giggle]: so what do they think is wrong?
BIKEY: i don't know... they don't know... i ummm... i don't know.
SARAHK: did they give you drugs?
BIKEY: who?
SARAHK: the doctor, did they give you good drugs?
BIKEY: no, they um... well, they... no, there's nothing wrong with me.
SARAHK: did they prescribe anything?
BIKEY: they um... no... um... well, they... i'm took... they gave me demerol or sum'in like that...
SARAHK: did they prescribe pain drugs? good stuff?
BIKEY: oh no. there's nothing wrong. just some antibiotics for the... just uh... antibiotics. yeah.
SARAHK: why nothing for the pain?
BIKEY: because i don't have pain from it.
SARAHK: but what about the pain in your kidneys?
BIKEY: oh no. did you like your house? i mean, your kitchen? [reminding me that i'm a bad daughter who didn't even call her mom to thank her for cleaning the kitchen.]
SARAHK: oh yes, thank you! it's awesome. say, what'd you do with that thing on the microwave?
BIKEY: what thing?
SARAHK: the candleholder.
BIKEY: on the refrigerator.
SARAHK: no, the other one.
BIKEY: oh, i just took it down to see how it would look up there. i don't know where it is, it's somewhere.
SARAHK: can i bring you anything when i get off work?
BIKEY: yes.
SARAHK: what?
BIKEY: ice cream. [never eats ice cream. i'm snickering.]
SARAHK: what kind?
BIKEY: mmmm.... [long pause] ... [even more long pause]... fat free fudgesicles.
SARAHK: anything else?
BIKEY: uh, Dr. Peppers!
SARAHK: are you supposed to have those?
BIKEY: oh yeah! [getting really excited about Dr. Peppers.] they didn't find anything wrong with me. i'm fine, oh yeah, Dr. Peppers.
SARAHK: ok, what brand of fudgesicles?
BIKEY: oh... whatever's cheapest.
SARAHK: ok, i'll let you go now.
BIKEY: i'm going to sleep... on your couch... okay.

Comments

[Kevin Hughes]

Nice design and an interesting blog. Keep up the good work.

[jonag]

who was that?

[sarahk]

who was who?

[VenusITN]

I go away and you corrupt your poor mummies? What is up MissSarah? And I heard you were here last weekend? I was in Arkansas, have odd bug bites, think they are streph and now have what I think is an upper respitory infection. Really thinking it is that my friends keep their home VERY cold and have a long haired dog, both of which I think affected me. Have a lot of catching up to do. Oh, went next door, your bro and the Hunk were playing backgammon. I said, awww this is sweet, you're playing a game. Wow can your bro turn BRIGHT red!

[venusitn]

Umm where are the pics of you and Sizzle posted at?

[jonag]

who was that first comment? is he a travelling blog critiquer? seems nice enough.

[Drew]

I thought so to, then I followed the link on his name to what looks like a very artistic blog. The guy's a pretty good photographer and a bit of a poet. He's doing a road trip through the southwest and midwest, making entries as he goes. Pretty cool, I thought, but then he dropped the F911-bomb:

"I'm a fairly liberal democrat, which means I usually vote with the left but have an open mind to any good ideas regardless of party affiliation. I'm also a fan of Michael Moore. As an artist I was excited when this film finally found a distributor and saw it on its opening weekend.

I thought "Bowling For Columbine" was a great film. It had an interesting theory and used the facts, many of them not widely known, to cement that theory. This film had a unique view on gun control and reasons why there are so many murders in this country than other countries with similar gun laws."
.... "Nobody can argue that Bush launched an illegal war on Iraq." ... "The Native Americans refer to the truth as a river. It continually changes and alters the landscape over time. This two-hour film is just a drop of water in that river of truth."

Ok, to each his own, I suppose.

[sarahk]

he must have been just passing through.

venus, i didn't corrupt Bikermommy, her dr. did. josh and josh played backgammon all weekend.

the photos of me and sizzle are a surprise for someone's blogiversary. shhhhhh!

yeah, drew, i checked it out, too. so we don't agree politically, and i think mr. moore is nothing more than a big fat pile of dookie who hates America, while he likes him and finds him to not be cynical (??). anyway, he's nice and has a pretty blog.

[Drew]

I can agree to disagree too, no problemo. But that kind of screed sets off my troll alarms, though its your blog. Glad that it wasn't anything to worry about.

[sarahk]

the important thing to remember here, drew, is that michael more is, indeed, a big fat pile of dookie who hates America.

[jonag]

Yeah!! And he's a poo-poo head too!

[Joel]

I would say he's an inspiration for birth control, but I'm too nice to say that. Wait.... oh [lollipops]!

[jonag]

Lollipops?! Lollipops?! My my....someone needs to go wash their mouth out with soap (or at least brush their teeth so as not to get cavities)!

[Joel]

Hmmm.. what was it I said that got me censored? I didn't curse.

[sarahk]

you said darn. my kids are gonna hate me. :)
sorry to censor, but i also censor for d*ng, g*sh, sh**sh, etc.

[Joel]

I'd like to apologize to everybody about that. Please go here and read what I have to say:

http://joel.blog-city.com/read/719639.htm

[sarahk]

joel, you're very sweet. and you obviously have a better Christian attitude than i have, because i have no qualms about trash talking michael moore (it's not slander if it's true), plus i thought what you said was a very valid point for birth control. :) but thanks for what you said, no apology was necessary, but i will say thanks and accept it.

*sigh* i still have a long way to go attitude-wise. i know i should be concerned about MM's soul, as a Christian, but sometimes it's just easier to really really dislike him and not think of him as human. i'll try to do better. :)

[jonag]

Yes, you are right, we do need to think of Michael Moore as human. Hitler was human, Jeffrey Dahmer was human, even Saddaam Hussein is human. So I guess it's okay to lump MM into the human catagory.

[jason of avoca]

I think the Christian way to look at it is not to hate or dislike the man but to hate the actions. God loves them all, but hates the sin. That's just my 2 cents.

[Joel]

I think you're right Jason, but nine times out of ten I find that his actions just make me sad. Sad because so many people choose to take whatever he says as truth and not figure out the facts for themselves. It's a spoon-fed society we live in today. One where we'd rather have "personalities" tell us what we're supposed to think instead of discovering it ourselves.

[venusitn]

How lucky for me I was visiting in Arkansas this weekend. The lady of the house, if you want to call her that, is like 5'10", and easily 300 lbs with a large mouth to boot. She loved the smooth talking President that came from her state, believes every word that comes out of his mouth. She made a comment one time about George W not speaking smoothly, it was a new coverage, and was about Iraq, one of those that was put together and he appeared on tv. I so wanted to say, yeah your mr wonderful had lots of time thinking up what he was going to feed the public. She made a comment this weekend, she loved F9/11 and said that her President was at every plane that had a dead soldier on it, and my President didn't do that. Told her, once again, her President was into the PR for the world to see, while mine was sorry for the loss, but making things happen that needed to, not for tv camera shots.

Been to Costco today, I so much more prefer Sam's Club. Got the little midget Sizzle cute cups and plates for her birthday party. White with water looking edges. Bought a big jug of Pine Sol, we are going to wet down the backyard and try to keep the bugs out. Always something for the mother of the neighborhood to be doing...

I so want to buy Twister and give it to your Bro, so he would have a new game to play. Think midget Sizzle would love the idea….!