so it's been a month since my last massage, and i reeeeaaaaaallly needed one. after a most unexpected experience at the therapy office tonight, i have compiled a list of things you should ask the massage therapist before takin' off yer clothes and jumpin' up on the table...
8. when you say "massage table", do you really mean "torture table"?
7. have you ever heard of thick drape sheets? and heating pads?
6. you know Mr. Miyagi? what do you think about his methods? 'cause i remember Danielsan wincing in pain when Miyagi first touched him, and that ain't cool.
5. what are the kneepads for? [seriously, at one most painful moment i opened my eyes and looked through the little face donut, and spied a most surprising thing... a crotch. a huh? what? then i realized he was squatting on his knees for extra hurt-leverage.]
4. where's the bathroom? [always the first thing to ask any massage therapist. i always have to pee after a massage.]
3. that chick that just limped out of here... she one of your patients?
2. i see here you are a licensed massage therapist, that's great. are you also a black-belt in hurt-fu?
and the blah blah blah, click for #1
1. do you have any intention of punching me repeatedly? 'cause, i mean, i could totally take you in a fair fight, but face-down and neckid, i'm not sure i'd see you in time to wax-on, wax-off and sand-the-floor.
haha!
That was a good laugh!
Posted by: Chad Coleman | Monday, June 28, 2004 at 11:49 PM
Whew! You had me worried there for a second, but then I saw you actually paid to get beat up.
Posted by: Ian | Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 07:22 AM
Whew! You had me worried there for a second, but then I saw you actually paid to get beat up.
Posted by: Ian | Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 07:23 AM
I could really go for an in your face massage. Actually, according to my mom (who used to work for a chiropractor) I need to get a massive back re-alignment. Apparently my back curves like a drunken S. Hmmm... I wonder where I could find a cheap chiropractor?
Posted by: Joel | Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 11:03 AM
I used to take karate. At least that was a place where you were supposed to get punched, kicked, and whacked.
Posted by: James P | Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 03:03 PM
Just thought you'd like to know, but the next Harry Potter book is "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince" You can read about it here:
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=514&e=7&u=/ap/20040629/ap_on_en_ot/books_harry_potter_vi
Posted by: Joel | Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 03:22 PM
Sounds like the kind of massage one would get if they walked into a redneck bar and shouted, "The Confederacy was homosexual and communist!!"
Posted by: Andy | Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 07:08 PM
woohoo, thanks, joel!
andy, you are a strange bird, doll.
sorry to worry you, ian! ha.
Posted by: sarahk | Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 07:20 PM
I should recant, the home Southern Cause does not reside only with rednecks. The South was right on many points and the progeny of the Federal Government today is all too much a product of that war.
Posted by: Andy | Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 07:52 PM
Slavery was wrong as well since placing a man in bondage against his will from birth is offensive to his human dignity. Now, placing a criminal in jail is just so don't think I am one of those anti-placing people in jail people. Slavery is wrong, on that point, the South's cause was unjust.
Oy, I am going to sit in the corner of my room now and see if I can work this foot out of my mouth. Who knew you could get your leg in there all the way up to the knee?
Posted by: Andy | Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 08:26 PM
Dang girl... that sounds like a rough session.
Maybe you should shop around a little. :P
Posted by: krakatoa | Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 09:49 PM
poor andy. :)
krakatoa, i will.
Posted by: sarahk | Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 09:26 PM