He's John Kerry

ok, so i wrote this song in the car. yes, there's a tune in my head; no, the meter's not broken, there are lots of irregular pauses. i may even get around to recording it for y'all when life slows down... it's not that good, i went through many drafts and scrapped some stuff, and here's what i came up with. enjoy, and if you don't enjoy, don't tell me so.

I went to a deli in N-Y-C
Wanted to get a muffaletta
Up pulled a man in an S-U-V
With a robot who had a vendetta
The robot came in and stood real still
While the French-looking man had his boots shined
Then he came inside and ordered his meal
After pushing his way to the front of the line... ('cause)

CHORUS:

He's John Kerry
Mr. Do-You-Know-Who-I-Am...
He's John Kerry
By the way, he served in Vietnam...
He flips a lot, then he flops the other way..ay-e-ay-ay
He'll tell you whatever he thinks you want him to sayyyyyyy

So I glanced all around
Looking for foreign leaders
Don't ya know that I found
People who measure in meters
I watched as they gave Mister Kerry high-fives
They said, "Allah Akbar, we want you to win."
He waffled at this, said, "I cannot decide
If I'm going to throw my beret in."

He thought for another moment, he did
The robot, he started to steam...
"Ok, I decided, no I didn't, yes I did,
Would you make up my mind before Gorebot screams!!" (oh!)

CHORUS

I was just about to leave
When the owner turned on the tube
Kerry shouted, "Oh no Jeeves!
That's my daughter's neckid boobs!"
"This is all Bush's fault,"
Gore yelled angrily
And his eyes were fiery red..
"It's a Vast. Right. Wing. Conspiracyyyyyyyy."

It was then that I knew
I must ask the question
"Will you support the troops
If you win the election?"
"I voted for the eighty-seven billion," said he
As he sipped from his Perrier...
After hearing the coughs of the I-raq-is
He yelled, "Psych!" and raised his be-ret...... ('cause)

CHORUS

yes, he'll tell you whatever he thinks you want him to say...
want him to say...
want him to say...
medals and ribbons...
want him to say...
we're just a flippin' and a floppin...
flippin' and a floppin'...
love that botulism in his face...
flippin' and a floppin'
woo-oo-oooooo...
woo-oo-ooo.

Comments

[Mahatma]

I smell a recording contract!

[King of Fools]

I liked it! (But it would be nice if I could hear the melody you used...I think you should record and then post a mp3.)

[Cowtipper]

Has a nice beat and I can dnace to it. I give it a 7!!!

[sarahk]

thanks, yes i'll record eventually and you can all shake your booties.
cowtipper, 7? wow, if it's below 8.5, i don't want to know... ;)

[Cowtipper]

Just trying to keep ya humble!!!!

[Chad Coleman]

You should put it to the tune of Motorheads 'The Game'

[Dan G]

That was hilarious. You definetly need to record it for us.

[sarahk]

chad, if i knew that song, i would consider it. i did hear something from Motorhead the other day when i was listening to the Power Rock station on my dish and loved it.

thank you, Dan, eventually i hope to...