today

today is a big day in my life, nay, huge! Frank J has posted the entries for his IMAO T-Shirt Babe Contest, and i'm so nervous i could almost pee my pants! brb.... k, i'm back, didn't wanna pee my pants.

anyway, i'm contestant #lucky 13, and i must say, though i've talked trash i'm a little a-scared of some of those girls -- psych! i do not fear any hot California girls or hot moms of four or other such ladies; i am a proud Republican who will shamelessly kiss up to all nine judges until Monday, when their choices have to be made. so here i go...

Wow, that Frank J sure does make me proud to be an American. He effortlessly fights against the John Kerrys, the PETA terrorists, the Osamas and the monkeys of the world; every day I awaken with intense anticipation of what I will read from the Frank J that I can't even wait until after my morning pee to turn on my machine and visit his blog. People tell me I'm funny, but I'll be the first of thousands to tell you that I ain't got nothin' on the illustrious Frank J.

At the risk of alienating my stepdad (sorry Pappy), I'm going to be quite honest here... Doug the T-Shirt Guy is by far the greatest t-shirt guy to exist on God's green planet. If Doug the T-Shirt Guy were to show up at my door and ask me to model t-shirts for his website for free, well, I would say no way!! I'm a capitalist, not a communist!! But I might give him a discount, because, hey, he's Doug the T-Shirt Guy!

Now, I'm all about fairness and everyone getting ahead based on their talents, merits and Rottweillers, but man, it's just not fair how much Emperor Misha I was born with! Sharp-tongued, fabulously Right and Not Suitable for Children Under 35 or Over 59, Emperor Misha I is the greatest fighter against Idiotarians, and we owe him our allegiance.

If there is anyone who writes better Love Notes than Harvey of Bad Money, I don't know who that is; I hope his wife appreciates those little bits that he posts for her daily, because, wow, I sometimes can't breathe after I read them, and they're not even directed at me! Besides writing the Best! Love Notes! Ever! Harvey is also a genius of humor, political Rightness and literary talent, plus he has the best eye for finding and sharing Graffiti Currency. Oh, to have half the talents of Harvey!

There's this man, and see he's, well, AWESOME!! He's Blackfive, and he's the paratrooper of love. His close friends call him Matty, which sounds like a hockey name to me, so he must be one of the smartest and toughest men on the planet. He has protected our freedoms, has awesome taste in movies, music and food. Oh, and he's funny. BTW, if I were into bribery, I would tell Blackfive that I make awesome guacamole and pretty decent salsa and would be glad to send him some. But I'm not into bribery. (email me, I'll hook ya up!)

If you want to read oustanding essays, first block out a lot of time; then go see what Bill Whittle has to say. He writes excellent dissertations, looks great in a Nuke the Moon t-shirt and even greater in his fighter-pilot getup and makes me proud to be an American. Frank J says he's mean to waitresses, but I don't buy it; Bill Whittle is not capable of such meanness.

John Hawkins, of Right Wing News, is downright funny and smart, even if a little obsessed with desert islands. His rotating banner at the top of the page is enough to get me giggling, but that's not even near the best he has in store. Check out his Best of RWN Humor and see that he may just be the 5th-funniest in the top five when it comes to funnies in the blogosphere (the #1 spot belonging to Frank J, of course).

What can one say about the Puppy Blender blogfather, Glenn Reynolds of Instapundit? Well, lots of things, but they've already been said. Now, I could take the side of the Alliance and tell filthy lies about him, or I could attribute a fake quote to him (something like, "SarahK deserves to win Frank J's Babe Contest if for no other reason than her Instabeauty, so I think I'll vote for her"). But I'll just say this: Glenn Reynolds gets a lot of traffic.

"Who are you?" "No One of Consequence." "I must know." "Get used to disappointment." I know little about No One of Consequence except that he is a great speler speller and should vote for me.

Well, that about does it. If you're a judge and I somehow missed kissing up to you, notify me and I will doubly praise you.

Comments

[Dan]

First time reader/poster - I saw your pic on IMAO and decided to come check out your blog. You deserve to win, that picture is amazing.

[rockynoggin]

You got my vote, busept I'm not a judge... good luck!

[sandor at the zoo]

Didn't even know you had a blog, kiddo. I'll be stopping by occasionaly to see what's up.

Perfect entry for the contest. How did "pose with large gun pointed at camera" not cross the mind of the other entrants? Maybe you're just smarter than the rest.

Luck.

S

[hln]

Sigh. Looks like I have to maim the competition. Nice site you have here.

hln

[sarahk]

heather, thanks for the compliments (back atcha), and i'll appreciate a reprieve on the maiming until after i find a job, please. your picture is awesome, btw.

fellas, thank you much! i've never felt so hot as i do today!

[hln]

You want my job? Too much sitting.

hln

[Sean]

[Leaping lizards], yes, Sarah, you are one extremely hot babe. I'm still in college, but age doesn't matter, baby! I am now a devoted fan of your blog. (deep down, we all know John Hawkins is right)

[sarahk]

heather, i'll let you know, thanks for the offer. what is it you do? i should probably know that before giving you a definite answer.

thank you sean!

[sarahk]

wait a minute!! how old do you think i am, sean?? why are you pointing out that age doesn't matter?

[hln]

Sit in the dark all day listening to techno. Oh, and writing software, usually web based.

hln

[sarahk]

oh, i'm not smart enough for that (except the techno part, i think i can do that). but thanks anyway. :D

[jason]

Sarah,
Not only are you the hottest one, you are the only one to pose w/ gun. You would get my vote.

[sarahk]

thank you jason!

[El Jefe]

Gotta give my props to my NoCal girls (especially since they're taking the fight to the enemy at UC Bezerkeley) but I KNOW you've got the inside track. Too bad Kim du Toit wasn't a judge...you'd have it LOCKED and LOADED.

[Mahatma]

Hey this is a really good web site! I bet since Frank posted your picture you've seen a traffic spike!

You've got a bunch of great content I've been looking around. I think you are going to keep some of this traffic. I added you to my list of blogs to visit.

Good luck!

[sarahk]

thanks, El Jefe & Mahatma! y'all are so sweet!

and yes, all the Cali girls are beautiful. i'd say Frank J's got the hottest readers on the net (femininely speaking, i haven't seen the fellas).

[krakatoa]

Who knew that one little provacative picture could cause so much fuss?

Well, other than Hollywood, musicians, Hugh Hefner, Gary Hart, etc...?

Pretty savvy there sarah K! ;)

BTW, the single hottest thing about that photo is your eyes. You ever see the movie Get Shorty? Watch it if you haven't and you'll understand what I mean by this: I can just hear you saying "Look at me krakatoa."

[sarahk]

thanks, but i wasn't going for provocative, i threw out other hotter pictures because they showed my tummy! the title of my photo was "buy frank's t-shirts or i will shoot you". besides, i was hoping to be recognized for my writing abilities, as evidenced by my stellar essay.

yes, i've seen it once, a long time ago, don't remember much...

[Sean]

You're definitely in your late 20's, so I guess ten years is not much difference, eh? Hee hee.

[krakatoa]

Well at least you didn't use the Boxing sarahK pic. It would have made the judges have to turn their heads sideways, and that's never good. :P

[Drew]

You weren't going for provocative, yet you managed it anyhow. Photo-Attitude plus! You must be a regular reader of those Dillonprecision.com catalogs.

I tried really hard to be fair and balanced, so I looked at it both ways - babeishness first then hawkishness, then hawkishness first then babeishness, then pick the winners.
1) CinCali
2) SarahK
3) Carissa
and an honorable mention to Teri

Sorry, but using Micheal Moore as a human shield was inspiring and could protect an entire convoy. Your photo was great - although the little one here with the katana is hotter - but she just outhawked you.

On the other hand, I'm just a regular reader, so my opinion doesn't count.

[Mahatma]

Sarah:

Got some big rocks to go climb in Red River gorge and won't see the outcome until Tuesday of next week. (survival permitted) No bandwidth in the gorge! Good luck!

[Flakbait]

Actually, I for one came in through the comments section, not the Tee Shirt Girl thing. Hmm... You have now replaced A Modest Destiny as the token female blog in my favorites folder. All Glory to the Mountaineer Musings.

But I'm not on speaking terms with Doug the Tee Shirt Guy, because he never got back to me about making a poster out of the Víva la Regan Revolucíon thing. : \
And you're right, Instapundit does get a hella traffic. If I was a judge, I'd vote for you.

[Donna]

Look at you! It's priceless!!

[sarahk]

a very special thank you to Dan, who got all the SarahK love started today. i'm feeling so babeish!

i'm 27, and 10 years is definitely not much difference, unless you are, in fact, 17, then i have a moral and legal responsibility to say it's too much of a difference, Sean.

you're right krakatoa, want the judges looking at me, not the blood spatter on the wall.

um, Drew, you're aware that you didn't put me at #1 on my own blog, right? just checking. if it starts to hurt my feelings too bad, though, i will change all 3 to sarahk. CCinCali and Carissa both have me running scared, they're quite hot and hawkish. yes, Teri too. well, thanks for 2nd place anyway.

Mahatma, thanks and i'm so envious! i don't really wanna go climbing (not that i wouldn't), but i'm soooo ready for a Grand Canyon hike. you'd think they would put a satellite up to cater to the internet freaks in such places. the Canyon is actually the only place i wouldn't be remotely interested in the hookup.

Flakbait, wow! i feel honored to be your token female, and thanks for voting for me if you were a judge.

Donna, i'm still shocked and enjoying my 15 minutes, isn't it crazy?