if i were simon cowell...

...i'd probably not have much time to blog. so i'll stick with humbly giving out my correct and scarily-in-line-with-simon's opinions to my enormous fanbase in this fabulous medium. to make it more like i'm-actually-a-judge-on-the-show-because-i-should-be, i'll address all of the contestants as if i'm sitting in simon's chair.

ryan seacrest, simon's hair is great, leave him alone. i am one of those smart girls who agrees with camile valesco. simon is sexy. ooh!! happy times!! william hung will be coming back for the march 1st bad singers episode! i love it. btw, for a related story, read scott ott's report on william hung's next bangin' moves.

elizabeth letendre -- wow, great pipes, great job on the song, but the dancing and outfit not so good. you're a dancer! show us!! but wow, you did a great job on the song, kudos, kudos. she's a good sport and can take simon's criticism well. IDOLS01

eric yoder - what a cutie. and a pilot! wow, you look kind of young to be flying people around, but i'm sure you're good at it. blah blah blah. at first, i thought, oops, bad song choice. but paula was right, you picked it up later. I LOVE YOUR VOICE! SO MUCH! course, i love clay aiken. i know a lot of comparisons are drawn between you and clay (happy sigh), but i still can tell the difference between your voices. you've got your own voice, and your own voice has a fan. that's me, in case you're wondering. i mean, you probably have a lot of other fans. but they're not blogging here... IDOLS02

amy adams -- i love your personality. you kinda remind me of me, with all that energy and life and little bit o' kooky. oh, and that's my all-time most frequent karaoke song. so i've gotta like you. really good voice, and a whole lot of sparkle on stage. and i wouldn't mind reading or seeing an interview with you, so i think i might vote for you. IDOLS03.

jon peter lewis -- the pen salesman. you have such an adorable personality. and you are so wrong about yourself. you and your brothers are all photogenic (btw, love the tooth-gap). i've said this before, you have such a unique voice. i really love that about you, and you have to get one of my votes, because i love tiny dancer. UPDATE: votes all taken up. sorry, i hope you come back for the wildcard round. every time you open your mouth, i've forgotten what your voice sounds like, because nothing in the world sounds like it, so you surprise me every time. scare me at first, but eventually, i'm just lovin' you. IDOLS04.

charly lowry -- wow, where are ewe frum? "i think my accent has made me distinctive from the other contestants." ya think? well, you started off kind of shaky, and i don't like pink so much (except on lilies), but you prove to have a great voice, you can wail. you've got fabulous stage presence. and i do agree with simon here. very good voice, but you need to let go. i think we'll see you in the top 12, even if you don't make it thru tonight. IDOLS05.

jonah moananu -- ok, you make me laugh, big guy. drama teacher? yeah, i can see that. free style rapper who is as self-deprecating as some joyful people tell me i am, gotta love you. and don't tell yourself you're not cute, because ya are. i think you have a great voice, i think you did a good job, but paula and randy are right. you didn't push your range, and that makes me think of ruben studdard. if you didn't have such a great personality, i wouldn't consider you at all, just because i don't like laziness in this competition. i wouldn't take it as far as simon and say you're not very good, i just think you could have done so much better. IDOLS06

leah labelle -- i really like you, i like your stage presence, and your voice is wonderful. but you had all kinds of pitch problems tonight. am i the only one who heard the flat notes? but overall, i do agree. you should move on to the next round, you're probably in the top 10 in the competition, just get the nerves under control, and you'll be great. IDOLS07

latoya london -- whoa, BRAVE song choice, at least that's what people tell me when i do it at karaoke. um, you might have my favorite voice in all of the competition. you are perhaps the most talented person in the competition. fabulous all over the board. you're a star. brilliant, brilliant. and simon is correct, you kept it quiet, and just EXPLODED. and did i mention you are gorgeous? absolutely beautiful. congratulations, and welcome to the top 2. you are WONDERFUL. the only person tonight who is a definite shoe-in in my book. WOW, YOU EVEN GAVE ME CHILLS ON THE REPLAY!! BRAVO. IDOLS08. VOTE FOR HER!!!

so. after last week, which wasn't even worth my reviewing (for those of you who missed me last week), tonight was the best night so far. i thought week 1 was stacked, that all the talent ended up in that week, but oh, how wrong i was. no, wait. i'm never wrong. i only change my mind. so i changed my mind.

Comments

[Jimmy]

love the last woman, and my 2nd would have likely been the one right before her, though that position can very reasonably be a toss-up. i missed the first one, but on the highlight i saw of her at the end, seemed alright except for the outfit. much better than last week though.

[sarahk]

rats. forgot to vote again. which means i can't complain about the results if they're not to my liking. i would have voted for latoya and amy, as much as i hate to give up the pen salesman and eric.