mountaineer musings

i have GOT to get a grip

after last night's episode with the ringwraiths, i might be a little jumpy. or maybe it would freak anyone out to hear a crash coming from the kitchen at 4:40 a.m.! is it just me? am i just a freak-show scaredy cat?

ugh. so yeah, i was on the couch watching the Pianist, which i've never seen, and waiting for 5 to roll around so i could get in the shower (because it's just wrong to be up before 5), when CRASH!!!!!!!! not "kitty-knocked-something-off-the-counter" crash, not "hey-is-that-the-icemaker-oh-wait-it's-turned-off" crash, not even "instability-in-the-pantry" crash. this was a big one.

i, the astute sarahk, assumed that the monster crash was the work of a cat. Minerva was in my lap, so i called for Nicole. then i thought, hmm. that kinda sounded like glass breaking or something. maybe a ringwraith broke a window so they could all torture me some more, hooray! i shot off the couch pretty quickly and ran to the room in which my weapons reside. it's funny how you can be totally calm, watching a flick, cuddling with a kitten, then suddenly (well, time-delay suddenly) your pulse is racing at lightning speed and your hands are shaking and you're fumbling around for your protection.

still unarmed (couldn't find what i was looking for), i turned on a light so i could point any potential sarah-harmer in the right direction for finding me. i looked into the kitchen, and my fruit basket that hangs from the ceiling was in the floor, the culprit of the attack.

stupid fruit basket. i'm never eating bananas again. boo, bananas!

oh, if you're waiting for Bloglibs, i took a super-long nap last night instead of writing our little story. i'll post them this afternoon, so there's still time to contribute.

draining...

... or rather, just the opposite. the house i'm renting was vacant for 4 months before i moved in, so all the drains are slow from no... er, movement(s). sunday or monday night, the kitchen sink got stopped up, and all the drains in the house backed up into the bathtub. eventually, it all drained, and the bathtub even stopped leaking every time i ran the shower, yippee! no problems since then, except some slower-than-desirable drainage, but still everything seemed to be working better...

until today. i was so excited about using my brand-new washer (and having clean clothes to boot) and was even pleasantly surprised at how quietly it runs! i was on the couch; suddenly, my quiet washer was much louder, and i thought, wow! it's not so quiet after all. went into the kitchen (washer and dryer are in the CARPETED kitchen), and the drain for the washer was overflowing like mad. looooooovely. yes, i checked, and the drainage hose was where it needed to be...

so. everything backed up into the bathtub again. but the toilet still functions, right?

WRONG. had to go buy a plunger tonight, and the situation is so bad that even the plunger doesn't help.
oh. crappy. day.

some people are just sorry

i don't care who isn't married to whom and who has done your family wrong by refusing to stay married to a man WHO CAN'T KEEP HIS THING TO HIMSELF AND HIS WIFE, just to keep up the appearance of a perfect family. i don't care how uncomfortable that makes you, knowing but refusing to accept that your brother spends time in back rooms at strip joints and trolls the disreputable streets looking for prostitutes.

it is not acceptable to ask the person who has disrupted your precious little close-knit family if you will give them back the GIFT that you gave them 3 or 4 years ago. YOU SPOILED ROTTEN S!E@L#F$E%D@I#T$ BRAT. gifts are gifts and are not returnable. GET A MILLI VANILLI CLUE, YOU SELF-RIGHTEOUS pawn in your brother's losing game.

MORON.

and more on this rant later. just needed to vent. thank you.

and i thought i'd seen the weirdest

k, i thought that "neckid 16-year old girls" was a weird hit, but i'd say this one has usurped 1st place: "a mom pulling down her 6 year old girls underwear and smacking her across the bum with her hand".

huh?

just a hint...

... for you cable ISPs. if i am googling cable ISPs to see what's available in my new town, and i click on your website to check you out... THERE IS NOT THE SLIGHTEST CHANCE THAT IF YOUR VERY OWN WEBSITE TAKES AN HOUR TO LOAD, I WILL HAVE ANY CONFIDENCE IN THE SPEED THAT I WILL ENJOY USING YOUR SERVICES.

duh.

it is so hard...

... to be a good Christian woman when dealing with flippy flappy hippy hoppy slithering reptilian greasy-haired liars. seriously, why would anyone flat-out LIE in an official court document, especially when the other party can easily prove this LIE??????? LIE!!! TELL A FALSEHOOD!!

SERIOUSLY!!! GET A RICKETY-RACKETY LEGO-BUILDING MILLI VANILLI CLUE!!!

oh well, i suppose it makes life as a plaintiff a hundred times easier.

*limey ending*

alrighty, TXDOT

so when i was driving to amastinkinrillo monday, i saw something when leaving the Safety Rest Area that made me whip out the tough-love stationery, previously reserved for JJ Abrams and the BAD ROBOT.

Dear TxDOT,

Hello, my name is SarahK, and I'm a Texan; however, I may have to resign my spot as a Texan and move as quickly as I can to another state. ANY other state (except California or New York).

Now, I've only lived here for all 27 years of my life, yet I seem to know the one SUPER-BIG NO-NO that you people in the Department of Transportation haven't seemed to grasp. I mean, seriously, is there ANY EXCUSE for this in the entire world? I think not.

What, you ask, is my lengthy and thus-far pointless rant about? Brace yourself and try to keep up, ok, TxDOT? Ok. There are signs when you leave these Safety Rest Areas that are meant to serve as a friendly reminder that you are, indeed, in Texas. However, for me they only serve as an instant-reflex covering of the eyes, because do you know what these friendly sayings say?

"YA'LL COME BACK".
WHAT IS THAT???

Now, I hate to complain about a problem without offering a solution, so here's my advice to you, TxDOT.

IF YOU'RE GOING TO PUT A GREETING ON A SIGN IN TEXAS
USING THE TEXAN/SOUTHERNER FORM OF EXPRESSION...
PUT THE APOSTROPHE IN THE CORRECT PLACE!!! YOU'RE REPRESENT'N TEXAS, YOU MORONS!

IT'S Y'ALL!!

Love,
SarahK

the wintry mix

every time i see the wintry mix flaunting itself, i have to roll my eyes. the wintry mix looks something like one of the following and is most commonly seen on teenage girls, young coeds, auditors who need to do laundry and probably a few scotsmen:

a) mini-skirt up to there, teeny midriff shirt, sandals, WINTER COAT. chica, if it's cold enough for a coat, it's cold enough to wear clothing.

b) kilt, OVERCOAT (can't blame the scots, though, it's their way).

c) ankle-length sundress (not sleeveless) w/ slit that goes halfway up your thigh (because the slit ripped back when you used to wear the dress when it was a little too small for you and you squeezed too much into it one day), no hose, sandals, SHERPA JACKET.

can you guess which of these describes the auditor who needs to do laundry?