there are good hugs.
there are great hugs.
there are careful or i might crawl into your lap and make you hug me for hours hugs.
some hugs make you squirm.
some make you squeamish.
some make you want to crawl into a hole and never come out for fear of meeting the hugger.
there are decent hugs.
and pretty good hugs.
and fair hugs.
honestly, most are just average.
and when you hug someone who really hugs you back, it's almost always a careful or i might crawl into your lap and make you hug me for hours hug. that's the key. to give a fabulous hug, you need only to remember one simple rule; hug like you mean it, and it's usually pretty great.
if you hug someone in forced fashion, it always, without fail, sucks. your body language is so evident in your hugs; if you hug like you're scared of hugging or like you're only hugging because, socially, you feel you have to, you are giving a really bad hug. here's some advice for you: just stop hugging people. you obviously don't like it, and it will save them from many cases of heebie-jeebies.
because let me tell you, a great hug seems like it was only there for a second, a fleeting whisper against my back, one i wish i could get back, wish i could bottle up and open any time i need comfort or to feel loved. a bad hug seems to never leave, it scars, it brushes up against me and sucks my soul out like a Dementor.
a great hug makes me long for more, willing to resort to begging for another, and though it was only yesterday that i received this coveted kind of hug, it feels like years. when i find myself remembering "when", that was an amazing hug.
single men give the best hugs, because they have the most to gain by doing so. married men still give good hugs, but since they need to NOT have someone wanting to crawl up in their laps (except their own wives), they tend to either side-arm it or hold back, which is exactly what they should do. but considering the intimacy that they actually share with their wives, their wives should be getting some splendid hugs, and there should be lots of lap-crawling. husbands who do not hug their wives well just don't deserve to be on the planet. ok, maybe that's too harsh, but they should at the very least be required to go to hug reform school if they offend the hugging senses.
i've been hugged well by a lot of people. there are two standouts that immediately come to mind; that could be because i was hugged by them recently so it only feels like months and not decades, and the hug-memory is fresh enough that it hasn't escaped me completely. hug-memories, after a while, fade like the picture you keep in your head of someone you love or have a great fondness for. you try, really hard, to get that picture back, but unless you see a snapshot or feel that feeling again, you never quite remember.
the two standouts are, as would be expected, single men, and theirs are the only hugs i "miss" currently. theirs, too, will fade unless they are replenished; until then, i'll feel the whisper against my back.
i think i miss Boy Crush's hugs the most, probably because i've had so many this year, and several of them were when i was crying, so they were the most comforting. i love comfort.
and i love hugs.